My fingers moved swiftly on the piano keys while i played alone in the dark room. I shook my hair out of my face as it got in my way.

My back ached from stress, and music was my only escape. Everyone thought I was so happy and free. I wasn't. They thought the music was just deep thoughts on something I didn't want to happen. God forbid they even think something's wrong with me.

I closed my blue eyes as I sang, the tears stinging. I felt a drop of saline squeeze out as I hit the higher notes.

I was crying. I "wasn't supposed to" cry. That was not allowed. Having a life wasn't allowed. I had to cry, I was holding it in for too long. I was sick of not having anyone understand, because it wasn't "allowed" for anyone to suspect I wasn't the happiest person in the world.

I should be happy, but I'm not. Sure, there are great things in my life, but they come with a price. A price I'm not sure if it's worth it.

I'm lonely. Even though I'm surronded by people who "love me", I know they don't. And I'm sick of having to share my deepest thoughts with a complete stranger who doesn't give a crap about me. I want to share my feeling with someone who cares, but not some stuck up asshole who's on a payrole.

I'm starting to wonder if anyone cares. I know God does, but how bout anyone else on this whole messed up planet I'm on?

I opened my tear filled, tired eyes, just wanting to close them again.

"These blue yonder dreams and secand hand shoes you're so far gone that you live to loose and it's too late to go home on all alone you're the tar in that old cigar and the worn out cable on the cable car and you're too tired to admit you've got to choose..." I sang in my deep voice, tears sliding out.

If people only knew that was about me.

"I'm lookin for a song to sing, i'm looking for a friend to borrow. I'm looking for my radio so that I might find a heart to follow. I've never been just longin for your lovin, I've never been just wearin down to nothin. I've been just lookin for a reason so that you that amybe you'd be thinkin of me....you'd be thinkin of me..."

I played the last keys of the song that matched my soul before light from the outside invaded the dark room. I looked towrds the doorway to find it being Zac.

"Taylor, c'mon, we gotta do the show," he spoke softly, almost afraid. i let out a sigh. "I know. hold on."

I wiped my eyes and stood up, leaving the comfort of being alone. Great, now it's on to screaming freaks who don't let you think and don't even care one bit about you. Fun.

if only someone knew the truth...